Today I feel truly blessed and so happy to be here since I feel to have been missing for some time. Sorry about that.
As I creep out of four months of lockdown, and experience just a few of the things that others have been dealing with, I feel humbled and strangely vulnerable… and my heart is full of compassion, love and concern for those who have been so badly affected by all these months of serious disturbance to their lives. Not having been out in the world, it feels so odd to see shop after shop closed, streets obviously more busy than they have been of late, but still pretty deserted… eerily quiet… alien. And I can hear myself saying four months ago that people would not emerge unchanged after months of solitary confinement… and I do feel that change…as though the world has moved on and I’ve been missing – haven’t witnessed it personally despite the endless news online… as though I’ve suddenly arrived from a different place and can hardly understand where I am… naive and naked. On my first (and as yet, only) excursion into what is usually a bustling little university town, everything seemed a bit too quick even though I’m sure it’s slower than it was… Strange. I found myself pausing to look, astonished at this new world and that I needed to acclimatise to this strange place that I hadn’t really seen before. I naively suggested we should go and have a cup of coffee to be met by my daughter’s beautiful smile – ‘But Mum, there’s nowhere to go.’ And I felt so sad and wondering how everyone else has coped with this daily reality – just a cup of coffee! Nothing major like my workplace has closed down and I’ve now no job and nothing with which to feed my family! And I scolded myself. Brenda, how could you have been so naive?
I send you much love, gratitude and humility