Forgiving ourselves - 23 May 2020

Someone once said, ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.’  But what about the situation where we ourselves have ‘sinned’ in our own eyes, and we go on casting stones at ourselves, and ruining our own lives and those of others because we don’t feel worthy of even our own forgiveness? We go on carrying pain; continuing to self-flagellate for years, unable or unwilling to let go of what we have don and therefore not only  deprive ourselves of enjoyment in the present as we continue to lug around the past, but also prevent those who love and care for us their happiness too. Sadly, we also obstruct the emergence of hope and love and tenderness that we could share with the world.  The natural consequence of that the world cannot benefit from our love and also whatever unique gifts we came to give.

So I ask myself, how useful, helpful and honourable is that?

Ideally as we move though life, we grow.  We develop our gifts and hone our skills, constantly becoming a better version of ourselves so that we can make the best contribution we can to the world. Keeping ourselves small because we feel we are unworthy of having a good life, at best benefits no one and at worst tramples upon other’s possibility of joy.      We could, of course do it differently.

My all time favourite quotation is:  The measure of our greatness is in how we stand up after we fall. 

Whenever we fall, there’s a need for forgiveness – for others, sometimes ourselves and sometimes the Divine. But standing up is the hardest when we know we were in the wrong and have been rightly judged. But stand up we must.  Standing up no matter how embarrassed, guilty or bruised we feel by what we have done and how we may have hurt others is an act of courage. We need to put away our fears and be strong and look the future in the eye with humility but also determination that we will not only survive but thrive. This is not about the lacking of acknowledgement of our wrong-doing. We stand up hopeful that we can use what we have learned from the situation and then courageously, lovingly and healthily contribute whatever we can. We determine to play our part, take our place, and make a positive difference from here on.  We will not forget what we have done. We will forgive others and endeavour to live a good life and demonstrate to others the strength and resilience of the human spirit.

My hope and wish are that we can up-date our truth, make recompense for our deeds in whatever way we ca,, then start to see ourselves and others in the true light of now rather than the shadow of the past.

There is no kudos in becoming our own perpetrators by being unwilling to forgive ourselves. And let none of us become righteous persecutors and thereby become perpetrators ourselves. We must not abdicate our responsibility to be fully functioning members of the universal community of which we are all part.  Our gifts are not only for ourselves but also give to others and we owe it to society to do this for our higher good and the higher good of all.

So, it’s time.  Enough sackcloth and ashes. Stand up. Lift your eyes. Look out to the future and, regardless of your scars, play the part you were born for..

Let there be peace, light, forgiveness and love never-ending.